So Bad They’re Good
It's happened to the best of us. We return from our preferred electronic entertainment store, giddy with excitement over our latest purchase. “This will totally live up to the outrageous hype!” we tell ourselves, deluded by the latest marketing blitz. There's no way that Game 2: Return to Game can be bad, right? So you rip off the plastic and pop that sucker right into your console. Finally, you are in the shoes of the latest bald space marine. The first few hours of gameplay rush past in you in a blur of explosions and plot twists, until that sickening moment finally comes, the moment you've always feared in the back of your mind.
It's the moment you realize this game has definitely not lived up to the hype.
You can find a few great examples of games like this in our Games of the Decade article, which also features the disappointments. It can be a very crushing emotion to realize the game you waited so long for — the so called “be all and end all” in video game experiences — is just another mediocre entry in their respective genre. There's one huge bright side to all these disappointments, though: for every over-hyped snorefest, there's a counterpart that has no publicity, no advertising, and yet somehow ends up being a great game. Sure, the voice acting may be a little goofy and the animation may have suffered from the developer's low budget, but little gameplay quirks help it stand out from the crowd. These are games that are so bad, they end up being good.
First, and oldest, on the list is Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Although I've only had the pleasure of playing this gem on my old Sega Genesis, it was released for a plethora of home computers and also enjoyed an enhanced arcade release. I think the one reason this game sticks in my mind is the fact Michael Jackson was such a huge part of my musical upbringing as a child. And while it's fallen out of the rotation as I grew up, Moonwalker was one movie I watched a lot. What makes this game ridiculous is the sheer amount of Michael Jackson you're bombarded with as you play. All of his attacks involve a dance move of some kind. The background music is entirely made up of obnoxious MIDI versions of some of his most famous songs. In fact, the whole first stage is basically a reproduction of his famous Smooth Criminal music video.
All of these factors comprise an incredibly entertaining video game experience. The game benefits greatly from the blatant advertisement, so much so it makes me wonder if it would hold such a special place in gaming history if it were not for Michael's likeness.
So, do you like fighting games? How about hip hop music? Then Activision must have really sunk its claws in you when they released Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style for the PlayStation in late 1999. Taking advantage of the cancelled Thrill Kill's completed fighting engine, Shaolin Style was an extremely violent, four-way fighting game featuring members of the popular hip hop group Wu-Tang Clan. There were also some generic fighters thrown into the mix, but RZA and Ghostface Killah were the main attraction here.
That being said, Shaolin Style was a terrible game. Absolutely terrible. The fighting mechanics were clunky and unforgiving. The story is a terrible mix of kung-fu movie clichés and just flat out stupid original ideas. The violence was totally gratuitous and only served as a bit of controversy to get people to try the game. Shaolin Style, much like Moonwalker before it, stands above the crowd because of the likeness of a musician, or in this case a group of them, being added to spice the game up a bit. It also spawned an incredibly awkward controller made in the shape of the Wu-Tang Clan's logo, which is pretty awesome in its own right.
God Hand. Just take a look at those two words. What images do they conjure in your mind? I would have had no idea what to say a few years ago before actually playing God Hand, but now my mind is rushing with images of crotch shots, pimp slaps, and a ton of continue screens. The last game developed by Clover Studios, God Hand was Shinji Mikami's shot at making an immensely difficult beat 'em up style game, while at the same time providing a parody of “macho man” themes found in other games of the genre. And, in my humble opinion, I'd have to say he exceeded.
Having only played the American translation, I cannot speak for the original Japanese version, but the dialogue and voice acting is just bizarre. You are thrown into the role of Gene instantly, and only find out the story as you progress through the stages. Every action, every spoken line, just about everything is overacted in a way that couldn't be anything else but a caricature. The game is also insanely tough, even at the medium difficulty, and requires very twitch button presses to avoid enemy attacks while still being able to launch your own. Through all the craziness, a very interesting fighting system emerges. The controls are entirely customizable, and you can even create your very own combos from a list of over 100 different attacks that grows as you play. God Hand is a definite must-play for fans of games in general. You may end up hating it, but it's an experience you have to take part in…at least once.
If global invasion and giant bugs are more your thing, then Earth Defense Force 2017 is more up your alley. Dropped into the shoes of a nameless grunt in the eponymous Earth Defense Force, or EDF, it's your taks to defeat an invading alien force. The aliens use versions of bugs found here on Earth to do most of their dirty work, the only difference being they have been turned into huge monstrosities that can destroy buildings quickly and easily. The graphics leave a lot to be desired, as does the occasional horrible voice over. But like all the games on this list, gameplay is really where Earth Defense Force shines.
Earth Defense Force 2017 is your basic third-person shooter. You run, you shoot, you jump…all the genre conventions are here. It doesn't do anything particularly well or add much to games that formed genre's basis before it. There are a few vehicles to choose from, but they all control horribly, which counteracts any advantage you'd receive from their superior firepower. Despite all this, Earth Defense Force is one of the greatest co-op games I've ever experienced. Nothing is more fun than grabbing a friend or family member, jumping into a game, and killing some bugs. And with over 150 weapons to unlock, there's always something to look out for. The game also becomes pretty difficult later on, making the creation of strategies with your fellow EDF soldier a must. You can find this gem in the bargain bin of most video game retailers, but it could take some doing in tracking down a copy.
Last on this list of bizarrely good games is a Japanese WiiWare title called Muscle March. Created by Namco Bandai, Muscle March puts you in control of an extremely muscular man in search of his stolen protein powder. There are around 10 characters for you to choose from, which range from muscle men to a very odd bear wearing a speedo. Everything about this game, from it's Wii Menu splash screen to the gameplay itself, is very odd and different.
After watching a football player steal your protein powder, you and your other muscular pals give chase. The goal of each level is to be the last man behind the thief, and eventually tackling him to the ground. You do this by posing to match holes the thief is making in various walls and buildings. The controls are amazingly intuitive, although simple. The nunchuk controls your left arm and the Wiimote itself controls your right. Things become rather frantic towards the end of each level as you get closer and closer to the culprit, culminating in an intense dash and the tackling of the perpetrator. Sadly, the protein powder is passed off to a new thief at the end of each level, and you must continue to give chase if you ever hope to win the muscle man competition.
As a special treat, here's a bit of gameplay from Muscle March. For those wondering, it was just released for WiiWare earlier this week. You can read our review here.
So, there you have it. While they may be terrible in certain aspects, these games shine where it most counts: the gameplay. Who cares if a game has a terrible piece of dialogue or two? Why does it matter that the graphics aren't as good as the yearly installment of the Call of Duty series? A game that keeps you glued to the TV with wacky and fun gameplay is, in my humble opinion, the best kind of game. If you haven't had the chance to play any of these, I strongly recommend you do your best to track down copies. You won't be disappointed…well, you might. But try them anyway!
