Muscle March

 

While it’s unclear whether the recently released WiiWare title Muscle March will reach that cult status, it’s garnered more than enough WTFs from critics alike. Its oddball cast of body builders in speedos (and a polar bear from Norway?) not to mention protein-nabbing aliens, quarterback and a Silver Surfer wannabe makes for a game that is unlike anything players have ever seen – that is, unless you’re talking about the Japanese side-scrolling shmup Cho Aniki.

 

After choosing a character (my favourite being the body builder from Ghana who has a giant afro and baby chick sitting in his hair – Final Fantasy XIII reference?), you need to pick one of three stages: city, village or station. Each stage consists of three levels and plays the same with the differences being the scenery and the protein thieves you need to catch. As you and your comrades chase down the thieves, in single file mind you, expect to crash through hundreds and hundreds of walls. From here, the player must mimic one of four poses using the wiimote and nunchuk. If you make a mistake that costs one heart, lose five and you must either start from the beginning of that level with full stamina or get a game over.

 

 

With only three levels within each stage and moderately easy gameplay, Muscle March is extremely addicting. Even as you get closer and closer to the thief and the music speeds up, the game never gets excruciatingly hectic. Levels one and two offer a good enough workout to ensure your reflexes are sharp enough for round three and even if you do die, you’ll be stubborn enough to want to try again. By the game's end, you will not only get a nice workout, but also a ridiculous congrats screen worthy of all your trouble. Mix that with addicting J-Pop and you’ve got yourself a pretty good, albeit bizarre, game!

 

In addition to arcade mode there’s challenge mode where you chase a gold-suited Silver Surfer wannabe on a rainbow path spiraling up a giant beanstalk – this isn’t a joke. As you progress further through the path, the speed increases, increasing the difficulty.   This mode is both single and multiplayer so it’s definitely worth checking out with a few friends.

 

 

Unfortunately for us, Namco decided not to include any secrets in this game – a shame considering how few levels and characters there are. With that in mind, Muscle March can be beaten in roughly thirty minutes, however for a poultry 500 Wii Points (5 bucks) this game is well worth the price. It may not be the next Katamari Damacy, but it definitely has charm.

 

 

Likes:

• Interesting use of the Wiimote and Nunchuk
  
• The story is ridiculous
  
• Gameplay is addicting and fun
  

Dislikes:

• The game is a little too short
  
• It would have been nice to have secret characters or levels
  

Review Score

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The review scale at LevelFortyTwo is between 1 and 5. A score of 5 is considered an amazing game, 4 is a well-done game with only minor issues, 3 is in the middle; not great, but not bad, 2 is a very problematic game, and 1 is absolutely terrible.